An introduction about myself
Dear Professor Blackstone,
I
am Oh Junkai, a Mechanical Design and Manufacturing student at Singapore
Institute of Technology, holding a diploma in electronics with networking
electives from Temasek Polytechnic. This diploma allows me to perform
electrical work on-site, including electrical building infrastructures. I am
also specialized in designing printed circuit boards (PCB) enabling me to work
in a laboratory setting, the networking elective has also further enhanced my
ability to work with networking systems such as routers or server
systems setups.
As
for my communication strengths, I have gone through multiple internships that
have helped me refine the way of how I should communicate with others in
a professional setting, one important skill I learnt is giving a clear and
concise expression while being confident in delivering the message. However,
despite gaining numerous skills I am still learning to pick up on giving
constructive feedbacks, as I tend to give more direct and less impactful
comments, potentially causing unnecessary provocations in the workplace.
For
this module I will want to learn two things, first is learning what is the
technical report design such as what does it do and how will it be important to
me in the workplace communications. Secondly, is setting my own learning goals
in my time with the school.
On
the personal level, I have learnt to be adaptable and proactive in workplaces
through my experiences with Robert Bosch, I had to adjust my communication and
working styles as it was vastly different from what I was taught in school.
Secondly, being proactive at my tasks, while being goal oriented which led me
to take more initiative in projects.
I
appreciate your time reading this email.
Best
regards,
Oh
Junkai
Hi Junkai,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all glad that you are able to acknowledge your strengths as well as your weaknesses learning to improve on them are an important signs of character development.
Couple of feedbacks for your consideration,
Caps for the MDME course can be removed if I'm not wrong from what was discuss during classes.
Another feedback is that I noticed you tend to use secondly as a sentence starter. Not too sure what you can interchange it with but I think it can be changed to another word so it adds more variety.
Other than that the overall introduction is really well written and I enjoyed reading it. Hope to know learn and get to know you better. My feedback might be wrong as well so lets improve together and strive to excel in this module.
Regards,
Royce Chong
Hi JunKai,
ReplyDeleteI think your content is good, it is impressing to show your experience and specialization in the first paragraph. However, for the third paragraph, I think it can be more elaborated or explain what you will do to achieve your goals. Other than that everything is good.
Regards,
Jess
Hi JunKai,
ReplyDeleteYour introduction letter is well-crafted, making it easy to read. The detailed explanation of your experiences showcases your adaptability and proactive approach professionally.
Given the name of the german engineer, i am incline to research more about the individual and how i am able to gain valuable lessons from him.
Although hardly communicate with eachother in class, i would like to work together in reaching our objective for this module.
Dear Junkai,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this concise and mostly clear letter. In it you effectively address all the key elements of the prompt. It's interesting for us to find out something about your learning journey, your evolving expertise and your work experience at Bosch. At the same time, you shine light on your comm skills and your desire to grow.
Your language use is mostly fluent, but you should take into consideration the issues below:
1. sentence structure
--- I am also specialized in designing printed circuit boards (PCB) enabling me to work in a laboratory setting, the networking elective has also further enhanced my ability to work with networking systems such as routers or server systems setups. > (comma splice)
-- I have gone through multiple internships that have helped me refine the way of how I should communicate with others in a professional setting, one important skill I learnt is giving a clear and concise expression while being confident in delivering the message. > ?
-- For this module I will want to learn two things, first is learning what is the technical report design such as what does it do and how will it be important to me in the workplace communications. > ?
-- Secondly, being proactive at my tasks, while being goal oriented which led me to take more initiative in projects. > (fragment) ?
2. overuse of caps
-- a Mechanical Design and Manufacturing student > ?
I look forward to working with you further this term.
Cheers,
Brad